When CGI is a good thing

I can never truly hate something 100% (Janeane Garofalo ranks close). It's just not in my nature. That is why I give you 3 examples where CGI actually works for me:

1) Pixar Productions.
CGI is always less offensive in cartoon form. There are many exceptions though, mainly involving horrible children’s programming. For me, Pixar holds the reigns on quality. The one major flaw of CGI is that it looks dated way too soon. The first Toy Story definitely has a dated look especially when it comes to the “human” characters. All the other “toys” are pretty much identical to Toy Story 3. If you stop with the realism and rely heavily on style, the end result holds up. A good example would be The Incredibles which is human characters, yet they are very stylized animation wise. The film does not look dated, and thus kicks ass.



2) Inanimate objects.
No matter how good you are at computer animation, laws of physics will always render you amateurish. Leave the CGI to things that don’t move so fluidly. Robots are a good example, unless they jump, or twirl, or kung fu kick or breakdance, or….

I hate Michael Bay so.



3) Tron.
You can still hate CGI and love Tron because they figured it out. The story line is built around CGI. Even though the entire film is live action, it’s the computer world around them that becomes a computer artist’s playground. There’s no way you can say Tron looks too CGI’y. That’s like saying Twilight is too teenage’y. I welcome the new Tron movie with open arms. I’m hoping Jeff Bridges will be less sweaty than he was in Crazy Heart though.



That’s it for now. I could only think of 3 positives. There might be more down the road if I open up my cold heart to them, but for now, grumble grumble.

Recipient of the Versatile Blogger Award!

Holy Hannah! Thanks to Cool Ass Cinema, I have been given the Versatile Blogger Award!



(ignore my last post, apparently I didn't know how these blog awards worked)

In order to recieve full VBA status I have to acomplish three tasks:

-Thank the person who gave it to you
-Share 7 things about yourself
-Pass the award to 15 other blogs you've recently discovered, are engaging and of particular interest.

In my last post I hyped the awesomeness of Cool Ass Cinema. His reviews are always entertaining, also I dig the lime green type! You should too!

Now on to task two: Seven things about me...

1) I have no sense of smell. Never did and probably never will. Out of all the senses to lose, I'll take this one.

2) I have a deep obsession with the Morricone/Leone connection. Six films (seven if you count "My Name Is Nobody") just isn't enough. I want more!

3) I have been trying my hand at amateur film composition. I did one independent film back in 2006 called Mondo Collecto. Since then I have just been working on other music projects. I have two EPs forthcoming. One is cover songs of classic Sesame Street tunes and the other is a cover/homage to one of my favorite Morricone scores, Gli Scassinatori(The Burglars).

4) Politically, I tend to be strongly conservative. I really abhor hero worship, especially in politicians. That's a game you'll never win. Although I do skeet shoot poodles and crap bags of money, so...

5) As a kid, I always thought I'd be a cartoonist or a special effects makeup artist. Neither followed with me. I got the guitar at age 14 and stuck with music instead.

6) I love movies, especially behind the scenes stuff. Just hearing about how John Carpenter made the title card for "The Thing" gives me goosebumps.

7) I use Lady Speed Stick deodorant because it's the only kind that doesn't give me a rash.



Now for some fun blogs that are definitely worth your time:

1) Kindertrauma
An excellent page of the TV/cinema creepiness that scared the hell out of you as a kid. I got a few traumafessions posted on there. It's the only site that will make you go, "HOLY CRAP, I REMEMBER THAT!"

2) Final Girl
Stacie Ponder rules. Enough said.

3) Topless Robot
Where geekdom & nerddom clash!

4) When is Evil Cool?
He hasn't posted for a while, but he had the best month long Alien review ever.

5) Retrospace
A lot of fun 60's & 70's goodies. they actually scan their own pics, and there's a ton of them.

6) Cinema Du Meep
Another fun review site with great obscure poster pics.

7) Sergio Leone & The Infield Fly Rule
One of the great film blogs out there.

8) Remakes, Reboots & Re-Imaginings
A great new blog and a subject I get VERY passionate about.

9) De Palma a la Mod
A great De Palma resource with very interesting essays and links to other similar themed blogs. I'm a sucker for De Palma.

10) Chuck Norris Ate My Baby
11) Freddy In Space
12) Retro Slashers
13) Mondo 70: A Wide World of Cinema
14) My New Plaid Pants
Film blogs are like crack.

15) Cool Ass Cinema
for taking the time to read mine. They're cool ass.

So that's it. Hopefully I will kick this blog into high gear and start blogging more frequently. I have a few post ideas in mind. My contempt for CGI never dies.

Stay tuned!

Death To CGI Shout Out!

The very cool Brian from coolasscinema.com gave yours truly a nice mention on his site. coolasscinema.com has some of the best and thorough film reviews out there. His knowledge of great obscure sub-genres is impressive. Definitely worth checking out.

Also, he won the Versatile Blogger Award! Congratulations!

(by the way, I should have a new post up soon in which I DEFEND CGI!)

*GASP!*

90 years of Awesome

Happy 90th Birthday to the man who sparked millions of imaginations.



If only he had one more in him.

Survival of the Dead (2009)

For years, watching interviews with George Romero berating the industry for not giving him the means to make films anymore, I thought to myself, “He’s right!” The zombie craze is in full swing and Hollywood won’t even bat an eye for the father of the genre. What is this world coming to?

…then I see “Survival of the Dead” and I understand.

Throughout the 90’s I was in full zombie mode. I drenched myself in Romero and Fulci undead cologne. When I wore them out, I would expose myself to more obscure Italian zombie films, so I wasn’t a stranger to taking the genre and putting it into bizarre locals and periods. By the time Hollywood got in the game, I was tired of it. I had exhausted my viewings of entrails snacking. I consider Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead one of the most pointless and juvenile attempts at a film ever created.

Honestly, I believe that this genre really doesn’t belong in this generation. Something about it always seems to be lost in translation. No matter how “X-TREME” you make the zombies, they just don’t seem to fit in to this modern film going era. Just like Macramé, zombie films are a time capsule into that long past society that existed throughout the 60’s, 70’s and early 80’s.



Romero’s newest attempt is Survival of the Dead. It has all the key elements in place. Limited locations, over the top acting, slow shambling undead and blatant social commentary. Two things it does lack however is a point and squibs. All the squib shots are done with CGI and it looks ridiculous. Making a zombie film where the gore is done CGI is about as pointless as tits on a boar. 1985’s Day of the Dead may have been a very flawed film story wise, but at least you had some amazingly gory effects to fall back on. “Survival” has none of that. All it has is an awkward story about feuding Irish clans on an isolated New England costal island… with zombies.

Yes, you heard that right.

Maybe Romero’s message was “Whatever differences we have between us, let it go, because there are zombies about” or maybe he just hates the Irish. Whatever the message was, I missed it. I was too distracted by the annoying douche bag teen that was thrown into the story just for the sole purpose of having a douche bag teen in the film to say douche baggy things like, “Vinyl? Gag me!” when he searches a cabin and finds an old record player.

Gag me indeed.



Yes, I will be the first to declare that the zombie genre has officially died thanks to its dear leader and a little help from good old CGI.

Hopefully, unlike the films the genre represents, it won’t rise up even uglier than before.

Not Scary

Ridley Scott gets it.

Strange Invaders (1983)

An odd little film from 1983 that pretty much homages 1950's small town paranoia sci-fi films. I remember renting this a few times as a kid at the local video store. I dont really remember the plot as much as I remember the effects. This film has some great borderline gore effects that stayed with me... sometimes in nightmare form.


Latex faces being ripped off exposing slimy animatronic alien heads, shriveling bodies getting their life force sucked out of them. Pretty intense stuff for a PG rated film, but then again, this was 1983. A great time to be a kid. Movies got away with a lot more back then, and I've always been grateful to have my impressionable years exposed to all these early 80's practical effects heavy productions.

Critically and publicly, this film was mildly received. I think it gained better legs through home video by kids like me. Siskel & Ebert were divided on the intention of the film. I love how Siskel decries the annoying "gloop & glop" effects that the "kids" love these days. It makes me wonder what he would have thought about the massive CGI infestation that has clogged modern cinema.

I guess we'll never know.

Great Pre-CGI Transformation Scenes

The Beast Within(1982)

One of the greatest. Paul Clemens really sells it in this one. It's also Tom Burman at his most air-bladderific!

Baby: Secret Of The Lost Legend (1985)

I remember this being quite the big deal in animatronics when it came out. I saw this in the theaters many times. Maybe that's why Jurassic Park did nothing for me. The Brachiosaurus scene in JP looked really bad in my opinion. These brontos had mass to them. even though they were scale, when they fell, they FELL. The physics were real, not rendered. The head movments still were a little tight, but it didnt matter, because they were real objects that interacted with their real surroundings.

I think when you're dealing with "unreal" things such as dinosaurs, it's better to create them in the real world so the actors have something to work with instead of a green screen. Much more effective.



Have a great CGI Free Pot Pie weekend!

Throw me the Idol

There’s something about this picture that almost makes me weep tears of nerdly joy.



Maybe it’s the simplicity of rubber bands and tape. Maybe it’s because there was a lot of thought and work going into something that really was never in the final film. Maybe it’s because this was one of the films that shaped my view of action and adventure and the imagination of filmmaking. Maybe it’s because I never knew that they tried to make the damn idol’s eyes move!



Whatever it is that I love about this picture, I guarantee you this much work wouldn’t have been done today. All this would have been reduced to, “We’ll CG the eyes in post.”


Photos courtesy of the P.E.G. Practical Effects Group page